i feel really bad =(

had some urm...
i dont know what to call it..
fights?
nah.
friday suppose to go prangin with chui yi, but had to go out with molly also. two at once.
had to decide. urgh!
then on saturday.
chui yi or gab...
then sunday got performance. mbs .
my world is now upside down.
everythign seems so wrong!
home wasn't so sweet at all...
not like last time. how i wish i could turn time back. back to small time. when just born. no worries at all.
home for me is like a jail. and the keys out of this house is with my parents.
or i can just run out of this house.
it's call run away from home.
iN the house, i as the always small girl. waht i said is being ignored.
everywhere i go, i feel the lonely-ness. and the no - one love- me illness.
home was never a good place.
back from school, online, sleep, wake up, online, sleep again.
my parents dont look at me as human.
when they dont me need to work, they keep me inside my jail.
then when they need me, they call me to go to work.
i dont even have to mood to work.
come one.
i hate this life of mine
this sucks badly.
as in SERIOUSLY!
with all the bad news: exam results, friends, parents, maid going back...
all those stuff..
i want mt happy me back..
the time when i go laughing.
with joy.
there is that time me?
i miss that time..
the time when my parents dont nagg me.
i ahet them for nagging me.
i am not a little kid..
can i have my freedom?
IT'S AFTER EXAM.
time should be spent with ffamily, close friends bla bla...
since family dont care anout me, swtich to friends..
but you dont let...grrr!
life seems so meaningless to me.
it's empty..
no point for living.
haih.
can someone just cheer me up.
no more bad news pls..
but maths exam is OMG!. i drop a lot.
i can't posibble live anymore.
i dont have the directions of life.
i went thinking if i die now, this night, mbs performance no oboist, parents happy, and i would kinda be happy if my parents just throw me into the sea, then i'll be free from all the troubles, no worries, no more nagging, no more controlling me, freedom is all mine. merdeka dont sound nice to me. merdeka sound and looks like jail to me. haih. i would love to just leave my life now, and go relax.
next week plan to go pulau jerejak, forget it.
i want to go qb, you know, go melepak, with friends..
yeah!
when was the last time i did that?
june, i think..
argh!
life sucks.
i just want freedom. i am thinking negative now..
hmmph..
gotta sleep.
another nighr of suffer.
how i wish i dont need to go to school.
ut have to practice my oboe.
hmm..
oboe is the best thing os earth.
for me.